I don’t know how to handle myself right now. My emotions, and my thought processes are not going hand In hand. I feel like crying. I’m so stressed out. With work getting so heavy, Talicia passing away. On the outside I know I look fine, but whatever I’m feeling inside is growing with intensity. I’m feeling alone and detached. I want to reach out for a shoulder to cry on but I don’t even know how to do that? I feel rejected before even trying. My patience is short.

I’ll probably delete this and just sit at home, numbed. I just wish I had a best friend. Someone I love to hold me and tell me it’s okay.

I realized I am that person.

“No I dont drink soda, that shit is bad for you….do you know how much sugar is in that?”

Orders 5 Gin & Tonics in one hour.

Actual conversation had:

“Who sings that Panda song?” 

“Designer w/ Two Eyes”

“Really? He must hate Fetty Wap.

“WHAT?”

“Well, the guy named himself Two Eyes and Fetty Wap has only one Eye”

“NO, its DESIGNER w TWO I’s. DESIIGNER.”

I am so dumb.

Right now. I cant decide if I want to stop eating and live, or keep eating and die.

I am so stuffed it hurts to suck in air. and yet I still have a brownie in my hand ready to eat.

Pot lucks

Life is good when you drunkenly eat a whole pizza to yourself at 2 in the morning.